A Farewell to Agony

Greetings, dear students!

Now, before anyone panics, I'm talking about self-inflicted agony here.  This isn't the kind of agony that can't be avoided, the kind that comes from outside.  This is the kind of agony we bring upon ourselves by fixating on all the wrong stuff:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2ZWZqTD5Hg&feature=related

In general, I'm sort of a chronic agonizer....I've talked about the symptoms lots of times, and I know many of us could cop to the same sort of thing: something complex or unexpected happens, and we spend endless amounts of time thinking about why it happened, whose fault it is, all the various ways we could respond, the possible consequences of each of those responses, all the things we'd like to do about it but probably shouldn't, etc.  It's crazy-making.  It seems to be one of my favorite pastimes.  And I think it's time to quit.

So, four weeks into the new year, I'm determined to make this something I work on: giving up on agony.  This is hard, because I know for a fact that the processes behind my agonizing (attention to detail, a propensity for empathy, the desire for clear communication) aren't bad human qualities at all, and in fact, they've played a huge role in my personal and professional success.  But, they're kind of like tonsils as Bill Cosby used to describe them in his stand-up routines -- tonsils are like big security guards armed with bazookas that stand guard against germs, but sometimes something goes wrong and they join the other side.  Tonsillectomy, as I learned at the age of four, isn't a pleasant solution, but it's a permanent one.  The problem with the other side of this little analogy is that it's not desirable (and probably not possible) to remove qualities like empathy or attention to detail or a desire to understand/be understood, so there's no scalpel involved in the long-term fix...it's got to be a moment-by-moment management kind of thing.  I need to find a way to be empathetic, detail-oriented, and a person who desires to communicate clearly, but also to stop myself from obsessing over the stuff in life I can't change or control.  This has become clearer to me over the last few days through several performance experiences wherein I almost managed to steal the joy of performing from myself by working myself into a tizzy about the details rather than trusting the process.  I don't want to be that guy.  I want to be happy.  So, if being happy means I have to be brave enough to change, so be it.

I've spoken before about using solfa as a kind of mindfulness exercise, a way to reinforce the kind of thinking that makes us into healthier and happier people.  Sight-reading in particular forces us to live in the present and continually move on from any setbacks if we wish to be successful, so I've got some of that on tap for you this week:

All Levels


Before you even go hunting for your Ottman, refresh your own memory as to the procedures behind good sight-singing:

1. Look ahead.
2. Pick a good tempo and maintain it -- conducting is a very good idea!
3. Ground yourself in the key.
4. Keep your eye moving ahead of your voice.
5. If you make a mistake, keep going.

Rising Level 2's


Ottman, ch. 9 is your playground.  Pay attention to the character/tempo markings in the book, and try to find examples you don't already know.  Read 2-3 examples per day -- I bet you'll find that your strategy gets better between the first and third example of a given day.

Rising Level 3's


Go nuts with Ottman, ch. 12.  If you find that you know most of the examples already, expand your search to ch. 11 and include some C-clef examples (you're allowed to pretend you're in a different key if you want).  Read 2-3 examples per day.

Rising Level 4's


Take a look at Ottman, ch. 16.  The main challenge of this chapter is meant to be rhythmic rather than melodic, but I'd like you to work with the melodic examples (16.37 and up).  If you get in over your head in terms of chromaticism, you have my permission to backtrack.  Read 2-3 examples per day.

Good luck, dear students!